Happy February!

I hope this newsletter finds you well and that your New Year is off to a wonderful and productive start. Mine sure has started off with a bang!

I am finally a published author! My "How To Be Your Own Generational Coach" WORKBOOK has been published and is available for sale! A difficult labor but a labor of love and I'm thrilled with the results! (Lots more information below.)

And there is more news to come in the next newsletter. Stay tuned!

With Valentine's Day coming up, February is usually associated with the topic of love. Even if you have a special "someone" in your life, this month's article is about making sure that you are your "someone special", too.

A reminder before you read on . . . just because I'm doing 1 teleseminar a week for 8 weeks for the "How To Be Your Own Generational Coach" program (which has gotten off to a great start), it doesn't mean that I'm not still doing the free monthly AgeWiseLiving teleseminars. The next one is on Wednesday, February 13th so please check out the information below for how to "attend".

Until next month, Happy Valentine's Day!

Most people want to help their aging loved one but wait because they don't know how or where to start and/or what to do each step of the way. That's why I put together the "How to Be Your Own Generational Coach" WORKBOOK.

I want people to know what to do and how to do it so they can calmly and successfully address their eldercare issues before it becomes a crisis!

For less than the cost of one Generational Coaching session, you get over 150 pages of step-by-step instructions including worksheets, forms, check-lists, and examples. So now you can resolve your eldercare issues by choice, not crisis at your own pace.

For more information and to purchase your copy, please click here.

ARTICLE: WHO'S LOVING YOU?

I was in a card store and a woman standing next to me was buying a huge stack of Valentine's Day cards. I watched for a while as she picked a bunch of cards for friends, and a card for her husband, her mother, her father, her mother-in-law, her father-in-law, her children, her grandchildren, and her grandchildren's teachers -- and those were just the ones she picked after I started watching!!

I said to her "I hope you're going to get lots of cards, too" and she said "Nah, I'm too old for that!"

I thought "how sad -- too 'old' for a bit of fun." I left the store but I couldn't stop thinking about her because I realized it wasn't just about the fun. I thought about many of my friends (and, frankly, me) who do the same thing! We buy cards, candy, flowers, candles, make special dinners with our best china, all for other people -- no effort too big when we're doing it for someone else. But would we do that for ourselves? I don't know about you but I know I don't do it for myself. It was yet another example of how we do so much for others and all too often, how little we do for ourselves.

That would be too bad but not exactly newsworthy. It is, however, a very big deal if you are an eldercare provider.

WHY IT MATTERS

It's virtually impossible to accurately predict the extent or length of the commitment to eldercare but for many caregivers, it's a lot longer than they ever imagined. In fact, in the interview with Roberta Satow for my Expert Interview Series, Roberta talks about caregiving as "a stage of life". She explains that, unlike our parents who provided care for their parents for an average of 1-5 years, our own parents are living a lot longer now. So that means we could be facing 20+ years of caregiving for our own parents. So just as your childhood, adulthood, and raising your children are stages of life, so, for many, is eldercare.

People ask me about my mother and I tell them that, although her mind is gone, physically some days I think she's healthier than I am. "She'll probably outlive me!" I tell them. Sadly, that would be funny if it didn't feel true! Like many eldercare caregivers, I put my own health and wellbeing after, well . . . . everyone -- especially my mother! It's not surprising that few caregivers realize the toll it's taking on them personally in terms of time, relationships, money, peace of mind, and health until they're overwhelmed and exhausted!

During the emergency instructions on an airplane, they always say "in case of emergency, put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else". There's a reason they do that. You can't take care of someone else if you don't take care of yourself.

In other words, it is more likely these days that eldercare will be a long-term proposition and if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of anyone else.

I'm not just talking about eating right and sleeping enough and getting exercise -- although . . . . yes, that, too!

I'm talking about thinking in terms of eldercare as a potentially 20+ years stage in life and planning for it and pacing yourself. A few examples:

	Getting organized so you know what has to be done when (see the June '05 and July '05 AgeWiseLiving newsletters
	Setting boundaries for what and how much you can -- or are willing -- to do
	Making arrangements for things you can't do -- or don't want to do -- and getting help.

In addition, this Valentine's Day (and for the rest of your life!), turn off the cacophony of the "shoulda's, woulda's, coulda's." Be merry! Have some fun. Go out to dinner with someone you haven't seen in a while. Turn off your phone -- and the Blackberry, and any other device that keeps you connected to someone other than someone with whom you want to be connected. Take at least an hour a day for yourself. Hang out a 'do not disturb' sign and do something fun or zany. Read for pleasure, catch up with an old friend.

What would you do for someone you love? Do that for yourself.

Like the hair color commercial says "I'm worth it!"

Upcoming Seminars

For lots more information about this and many other important eldercare issues, attend an AgeWiseLiving seminar. For upcoming dates and locations, please go to Seminars.

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