Welcome to March!

This is the month that every year I eagerly await because it's my birthday month. In fact, I've already started celebrating and plan to do so well into April! And this year it's my big 6-0 so it will be particularly festive! I Just the way I like to celebrate birthdays!!

I'm particularly excited about the March free AgeWiseLiving teleseminar -- 4 Strategies To Give You A More Positive Caregiving Experience with Tamara Younker. I've benefited so much from listening to her and I know you will too -- whether you're a caregiver or not! It's my plan to record it (as usual) but the February recording didn't "take" so I really encourage you be there "live."

Until then, have a very Happy St. Patrick's Day and enjoy the start of Spring!

Is It Simple Forgetfulness or the Real Thing?

	If you are noticing increased forgetfulness in a loved one -- or yourself -- and you're worried that it might be early signs of Alzheimer's;
	If you want to open the lines of communication with your loved one and communicate better, longer;
	If you want to help your loved one stay independent and engaged;
	If, when the time comes for a move into a memory impairment community, you want to make the move as easy as possible;
	If you want to extend the number of pleasant days and preserve the happy memories and if you want peace of mind as you and your loved one take this journey together;
Then you'll want this CD now!

Filled with insights, personal stories & lots of "how to's".

Is It Simple Forgetfulness or the Real Thing? will take you through the process from the beginning and help you know what to do and how to do it along the way. No jargon or complicated terminology. Just the practical, useful information I wish I'd had to help you make the journey together!

If you're struggling to help a loved one with dementia, I encourage you to go to Is It Simple Forgetfulness or the Real Thing? or call Barbara toll-free at (877) AGE-WISE.

ARTICLE: COMMUNICATING HEART TO HEART

As many of you know, my mother has dementia. The dementia is very advanced and has taken over and for a number of years she's lived in a nursing home.

When I step back and look at my own response to all of this, it's been really interesting to see the stages. I thought it might be interesting to you, too.

For more than 16 years, I have watched my mother slip away. It's been very difficult emotionally but up to now I've handled it pretty well. For my own sanity it's been necessary for me to approach it intellectually so when she first moved into the nursing home, I fought for more stimulating activities to keep her brain as active as possible. When she clearly couldn't participate any more anyway, I stopped that fight. I continued to visit often, talking with her in a way that I hoped would keep her mind working, taking great joy in the very, very fleeting moments when she connected . . . remembering a name or remembering the words to "Take Me Out To The Ballgame." Sometimes I really think she even knew who I was.

Eventually, however, it became clear she had no idea who I was, even though she did seem pleased to see me. She also continued to respond when I said "Hi Mommy," sometimes smiling, sometimes focusing on me, sometimes both. I would end each visit with a kiss and said "I love you." Sometimes that would be the thing that would make the connection and she would say "I love you" back -- often the only thing she would say during the entire visit.

Now, sadly, there is no response when I say "Hi Mommy." She seems to have forgotten the concept of "daughter." She just continues to stare into space. She does, however, still remember her name. So now, instead of saying "Hi Mommy," I say "Hi Margaret" and sometimes, saying her name is rewarded with a momentary connection.

I understand this decline is just the progression of the dementia. Intellectually I get it. Although it's been heartbreaking, over the years it's also been "interesting" to watch the dementia progress.

However, forgetting the concept of "daughter" or "Mommy" has hit me really hard -- harder than I expected. It's very strange that, not only am I no longer a part of her memory, I'm not even a concept she comprehends. I know this has nothing to do with me personally but I still find it profoundly sad.

How do you make it through an experience like this that can last for years?

The most important thing to remember is that, when talking with your aging loved one with dementia, it's no longer head to head -- it's now heart to heart.

Heart to heart. No labels or roles . . . just letting your hearts connect.

So now when I visit, I just sit and hold her hand. Sometimes I tell her about the things going on in my life but I know that it doesn't matter what I say -- or even that I talk. Now it's just about being there.

Slow down.

Forget about the details - names, dates, places. Concentrate instead on just being there. Let your heart talk.

You don't have to be anything -- you are everything.

Upcoming Seminars

The MARCH AgeWiseLiving *No Charge* TELESEMINAR

4 Strategies To Give You A More Positive Caregiving Experience
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
7:00 to 8:00p EASTERN TIME
To join this FREE teleseminar, at 7p just call:
(269) 320-8400 ~ Conference Code: 742785#

Upcoming Live Seminars

For information about how to attend an AgeWiseLiving seminar and upcoming dates and locations, please go to Seminars.

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