I can't believe that it's already June and half of the year is already over! It's been an exciting first half. Who would have thought when the year started that I would be a radio talk show host. Now I have a weekly show -- Age Wise Living on the Variety Channel on VoiceAmerica.com. (http://www.modavox.com/voiceamerica/vchannel.aspx?cid=246). Since it's a call-in show, if you want to call in during any live show (Tuesday mornings from 10 to 11a Eastern time), just call 866-472-5788.

Can't be there "live"? Since it's internet based, I'm actually rebroadcast at lots of different times and it is also archived. To listen, just go to the Variety Channel at www.VoiceAmerica.com. Click on the "Live Schedule" tab to hear a rebroadcast or click on the "Shows" tab to hear the archive.

This week's guest was Yale Hauptman of the elder law firm of Hauptman & Hauptman. He answered all kinds of questions about elder law. Unfortunately, we didn't get to all of the questions so he's going to answer all the rest in next week's newsletter.

So much has been written and reported about Medicare. How much do you really understand? Enough to help your aging loved one navigate the maze? With everything that's going on with Medicare, we all need someone who can actually explain it in a way that makes sense! That's why I hope you will join us next Tuesday when our special guest will be Eric Hausman. Eric will be giving us everything we need to know about Medicare.

This week's article is on the Silent Generation. As you may remember, I did a brief article on the Silent Generation in January but they are just too important a group to be given short shrift. BTW -- if you want lots more information about the Silent Generation, listen to the May 12th Age Wise Living radio show on the Variety Channel at www.VoiceAmerica.com.

Until next time, have a great week.

ARTICLE: THE SILENT GENERATION

When I first became the caregiver for my mother, she was 72 -- as were the parents of most of my friends. They are what I call Vicky-D's (born generally between 1905 and 1925) and the Vicky-D's have been the focus of my Generational Coaching practice.

This year my mother is turning 89. While many of my clients are struggling to help their aging loved ones my mother's age, I'm getting far more calls for help with parents who are younger -- between about 65 and 85.

I always assumed those between 65 and 85 were the younger brothers and sisters of the Vicky-D's. The coaching was the same and it worked. Except that more and more people were telling me that, while the coaching works, the conversations were edgier somehow and more difficult. For example: everything would be going along fine and then every once in a while there'd be an explosion . . . which was really odd!

After some research, I discovered a whole new generation!

It's a relatively small generation because people were having fewer children in the economic and political upheaval of the Great Depression and World War II. They were raised with all of the Vicky-D values, character, and personal discipline but interestingly enough, because of their generational experiences, they also had many of the traits of the Baby Boomer generation. For that reason, some have called them the "Swing" generation because they had one foot in the Vicky-D generation and one foot in the Baby Boomer generation.

Then, in 1951, Time magazine dubbed this generation the "Silent Generation" -- a term which I think better describes and defines them. Why?

The two most significant experiences in their formative years were the Great Depression and World War II. The Great Depression was devastating for everyone, of course, but for these children I think it was the worst. In those days, no one talked about personal things with the children -- especially about money. So their world was crashing in on them and they had no idea what was happening.

At the same time, many children had to take on greater responsibilities. Some teens found jobs when their parents couldn't, reversing the normal roles of provider and dependent and parent and child. But it was the way it was and they had to deal with it in silence.

In other families, children were sent away to live with relatives or strangers because their parents couldn't afford to feed and clothe them. While it may have been for their own good, they had to suffer in silence. And they were probably the lucky ones because there were over 200,000 abandoned children wandering the country as a result of the breakup of their families.

Then came World War II. While their fathers went to war and their mothers and older sisters went to work for the war effort, Silents were home alone. In fact, they were the original "latch-key" kids. They were required to be good little boys and girls -- and again, suffer in silence.

Later, when they grew up, many of them fought in the Korean War. Sometimes referred to as the "Forgotten War," that term applies perfectly to the men and women who fought in it. When Silents came home, the world had moved on and they silently got on with their lives.

The Silent generation grew up to be strong and self-sufficient yet they tended to stay out of the spotlight -- to work behind the scenes. For example, Silents don't become the star -- they become the stage managers. They don't become the president -- they become the president's chief of staff. Silents produced many of the radical Baby Boomers (but few Silents would think of being radical themselves) and Baby Boomers got many of the benefits Silents worked for.

Silently is also how they communicate. They are reluctant to speak up when they disagree but they resent being told what to do. They have an opinion but they were raised not to voice it or even offer it.

As a result, many Baby Boomers who try to help their Silent loved ones interpret their silence as agreement, acquiescence, even lack of opinion. Big mistake!

How perfectly that explains what so many of my clients were seeing . . . silent, silent, silent . . . and then an explosion!

They were raised to conform with social norms but many Silents seethed on the inside. Now, after being silent for so long, they're starting to push back. I was recently told by a Silent: "I'm 70 years old. I've been quiet my whole life. Well, not any more. I'm speaking up. I'm not taking any garbage off of anyone any more!"

If we want to have good communication -- because really, successfully working with your aging loved one is all about communication -- then we have to understand where they're coming from generationally. They very much want to be a part of the discussion -- especially when they are the topic.

Working with a member of the Silent Generation may require a little more patience -- which can be frustrating for Baby Boomers -- but it's worth it in the long run!

For lots more information about the Silent Generation, check out the May 12th Age Wise Living radio show on the Variety Channel at www.VoiceAmerica.com.

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