Just came back from visiting my sister & brother-in-law and their "children." Thought you'd like to see a picture of the kids and some of the Fall colors.

Here also is a picture of me presenting "Understanding Family Expectations" for a great group of professionals. It was a great evening. My next focus is getting ready to be a speaker at the Employee Assistance Professionals Association (EAPA) World Conference in a few weeks.

By the way . . . if you know of a company or organization that wants to help their employees or members address or avoid eldercare issues, please have them give me a call or send me their contact information and I'll contact them. Remember, eldercare affects people regardless of their gender, profession, or economic status. Everyone needs as much information as they can possibly get. Here's a great way to help them out!

Until next week,

PS> Are you on Facebook or Twitter? If so, I'd love to have you 'friend' me and AgeWiseLiving. That way you can get the latest news and have lots to share with your followers about AgeWiseLiving, the AgeWiseLiving newsletter, my radio show, etc. A whole new world!

The Ultimate Caregiver's Success System

ARE YOU AN ELDERCARE PROVIDER?

If you found something that told you WHAT to do and HOW to do it so you could resolve your eldercare issues by choice, not crisis . . . you'd buy it . . . right?

ARTICLE: What Makes You Afraid

As you know, up to now, my focus has been on parents who refuse to discuss advance planning documents such as a Living Will & Health Care Proxy (called by different names in different states). But recently I've been hearing something very strange from seniors. More and more are telling me that they're willing - eager, in fact - to talk about advance planning documents with their children but their children won't!

I have to admit I find that odd because typically Baby Boomers are willing to discuss difficult topics. I found it especially odd since these documents can make the family's lives so much easier should there be a need. I guess I fell into the trap I warn others about - thinking that everyone thinks the way I do! But then I have to remember that the rules often fly out the window when dealing with emotional "Mommy & Daddy" issues.

I guess it's not all that uncommon. For example, years ago there was a television show called Judging Amy. It was about a woman named Amy who is a judge . . . duh!! (Actually, Amy is played by Amy Brenneman and her mother is played by Tyne Daly. It was a great series so if you get a chance to watch it, I recommend that you do.) Anyhoo . . . the reason I mention it is because in one of the shows, Amy's mother is turning 60 and the only thing she wants for her birthday is for Amy to read and sign her mother's Living Will and Health Care Proxy - which Amy refuses to do. Here is this smart, well-educated lawyer-now-judge who refuses to even discuss her mother's advance planning documents. She keeps telling her mother, "Oh Mom, you're not going to die." I kept yelling at the television "It's not about dying!"

The fact is, discussing advance planning documents doesn't make you ghoulish and talking about them doesn't mean your aging loved ones are going to die. It simply means you can help them better when they need you most. Isn't that a really, really good thing?

If you're lucky enough to have a parent who wants to talk . . . . TALK. It's OK to admit that the conversation is a difficult one for you. For example, you might say something like "This conversation makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to think about you getting sick or dying. But I know it's good that we talk about it. How about we start with your Living Will and Health Care Proxy since I know these documents are about how well you live when you're not able to speak for yourself."

If your parents want to talk about advanced directives, it's a gift. Please accept it in the spirit with which it's given. They're giving themselves a gift - and they're giving you one too!

To download advance planning documents for any state, for free, please do to Caring Connections at www.caringinfo.org/stateaddownload.

Remember, if you're struggling to help your aging loved one, I urge you not to wait for a crisis to develop. Please call me toll-free at (877) AGE-WISE or email me at Barbara@AgeWiseLiving.com for a complimentary "get acquainted" conversation. I'm here to help!