AgeWiseLiving.com Newsletter -- October 15, 2009 -- How to Be Your Parent's Nursing Home Advocate

October 15, 2009


	We will never sell, rent, or trade your email.

"HOW TO BE YOUR PARENT'S NURSING HOME ADVOCATE"

Hope you had a wonderful Columbus Day weekend.

Thank you all so much for your heartfelt responses to my survey. I will do my very best to provide you with the answers you requested. In the meantime, I want to remind you that you can find lots of information on both the "Newsletter" and "Barbara's Radio Show" page of my website (www.AgeWiseLiving.com) or through the link below - as well as in this newsletter. BTW - if you haven't responded yet - or if you've thought of something else - I would love to hear from you. Just go to http://tinyurl.com/agewise.

Next week I'm heading off to Dallas to be a speaker at the Employee Assistance Professionals Association (EAPA) World Conference. Being asked to speak means that there is now a world-wide recognition of the importance eldercare information. If you have a group, organization - or World Conference - that wants to provide their people the eldercare support they need, please contact me by email at Barbara@AgeWiseLiving.com or calling toll-free (877) AGE-WISE (877-243-9473).

Until next week,

PS> Are you on Facebook or Twitter? If so, I'd love to have you 'friend' me and AgeWiseLiving. That way you can get the latest news and have lots to share with your followers about AgeWiseLiving, the AgeWiseLiving newsletter, my radio show, etc. A whole new world!

The Ultimate Caregiver's Success System

ARE YOU AN ELDERCARE PROVIDER?

If you found something that told you WHAT to do and HOW to do it so you could resolve your eldercare issues by choice, not crisis . . . you'd buy it . . . right?

For lots more information, Please click here for
THE ULTIMATE CAREGIVERS SUCCESS SYSTEM
and see what I'm so excited about!

ARTICLE: HOW TO BE YOUR PARENT'S NURSING HOME ADVOCATE

On my October 6th radio show, I interviewed Jack Halpern, eldercare advocate expert. During that show he answered many of the questions you asked in my survey about how to be an advocate for your parent so I'm delighted to provide some of those answers here. For lots more information, please go to Barbara's Radio Show on my website.

What is an Elder Advocate and why do we need one.

An elder advocate is someone who by experience and education is qualified to act on our behalf, in matters of eldercare.

Most of my clients call me at a time of crisis. When I use the term clients, in 95% of my cases, I'm dealing with the children of the elderly. Only about 5% of my clients actually plan for elder care. They are not pro active and therefore find themselves in crisis when an elder breaks a hip or has a stroke. When an eldercare event happens and a parent is in a hospital, the family is thrown into this nether land. They need someone to help them navigate the system.

When is the best time to begin planning for elder care services?

The very best time is when your parent is healthy, usually at age 60-70. This is the time to do a needs assessment and develop a plan for what is to happen when elder care might be needed.

Another time is, when you notice that your loved one is confused at times, forgetful as to time and place, or perhaps leaves the stove on at night. You might notice that your parents are losing weight or lethargic. These symptoms might be indicators of serious illness or early signs of dementia, or Alzheimer's Disease. If you set up a plan you will be prepared for that crisis when it occurs.

What are the elements of a good plan?

A good eldercare plan will include at least these elements:

A. Financial Planning
Every plan should have provisions for how to pay for eldercare services when you need them. For example, can we afford to self insure for long term care or should we purchase long term care insurance?

Do we want to live in an assisted living facility or a retirement community? If the breadwinner needs long term care will there be enough to take care of the spouse? Will we have to depend on our kids?

B. Medical Plan
At age 55 you should begin to keep:

Medical records

Diagnosis records

Medication lists

Physician reports

Hospitalization dates and diagnosis

C. Legal Plan (through an Elder Law Attorney) for:

Power of Attorney

Health Care Proxy

Medicaid Planning

Estate Planning

My elderly mom just entered a hospital with a broken hip. How do I effectively advocate for her?

Get an advocate if you can

Request an air mattress (to prevent bedsores)

Check for bedsores

Insist on speaking to the attending physician, not just to residents

Check the list of medications for psychotropic drugs. Don't allow behavior controlling drugs

Speak to the dieticians about diets

How do I effectively deal with the doctors and the hospital staff?

Be polite but forceful. Ask questions about everything. Seek out attending physicians and insist that they tell you what is going on. If you are there when nurses are dispensing medication, ask them about the drugs.

What should I expect during the hospital discharge planning stage for my loved one?

Expect the discharge planner (also called case manager) to be in a rush to get your loved one out of the hospital quickly.

You will probably receive a list of nursing homes and asked to choose three or five. Go see the best three (according to the rating system below). Don't choose any home until you are ready.

You will be expected to sign that you have chosen three or five. Don't sign anything! Let the discharge planner know that you will take legal action if your loved one is moved to a rehab center without your express agreement.

If your elder does not need or qualify for rehab, you will be expected to take them home and get them home care. Medicare usually provides a minimal amount of help at home, and then only for a short while. Don't take them home unless they can be taken care of safely.

Do I have to accept the hospital's discharge plan?

Not if you think that a discharge would be unsafe. The hospital has a responsibility to do a proper and safe discharge.

How do I appeal the hospital's decision?

The discharge planner must help you, and explain your rights in writing.

Is there a rating system for nursing homes and how do I use it?

Go to www.medicare.gov/NHCompare. The federal government has a star rating system:

Five Stars - Much Above Average

Four Stars - Above Average

Three Stars - Average

Two Stars - Below Average

One Star - Much Below Average

I would suggest that you don't go lower than a four star rating.

What do I look for in choosing a nursing home?

Cleanliness of building, staff, residents, and equipment

No odors

Staff that looks professional and are all wearing identification badges (not turned around)

Staff engaging residents in conversation - not just sitting around, milling around, or watching television

Food looks attractive and is nutritious

Residents are engaged in various meaningful activities, not just bingo

An active physical therapy department

Ask other family members about facility and the care their loved one is getting

Look for residents who look lethargic or out of it. This indicates that residents are overmedicated, possibly with psychotropic drugs.

How do I effectively advocate for a loved one in a nursing home?

Be there as much as you can. If you can't try to get another family member, or a friend to be there.

Try to visit during different shifts.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Speak politely but with authority.

Don't threaten.

Don't tell them their job.

Speak to the doctor regularly.

Find out what medications are being administered.

Check your loved ones body for bruises or cuts often.

Make sure your loved one is not losing weight.

Check for bedsores.

If you see something complain.

Keep a journal.

Jack Halpern is a trusted advocate for elders and their families, assisting them with drafting blueprints for their futures. Jack helps those he works with by navigating the difficult and sometimes confusing pathways of elder care. As a result, elders and their families have peace of mind knowing plans of action have been designed to help them maintain control, preserve their dignity and protect their independence, finances, property and rights. Combining a commitment to protecting the rights and dignity of elders, and a fierce sense of right and wrong has earned Mr. Halpern a reputation as an uncompromising elder advocate. www.myelderadvocate.com.

Remember, if you're struggling to help your aging loved one, I urge you not to wait for a crisis to develop. Please call me toll-free at (877) AGE-WISE or email me at Barbara@AgeWiseLiving.com for a complimentary "get acquainted" conversation. I'm here to help!

MANAGING YOUR SUBSCRIPTION

To SUBSCRIBE to our newsletter, please click SUBSCRIBE

Does your company's firewall prevent you from receiving newsletters? Has your email address changed or would you prefer to receive your AgeWiseLiving newsletter at a different email address? If so, please click CHANGE YOUR SUBSCRIPTION ADDRESS. Once you've done that, please add "AgeWiseLiving@mail.vresp.com" to your address book.

The AgeWiseLiving™ Newsletter is written by Barbara E. Friesner and AgeWiseLiving™. If you have any questions or comments please send them to: .

Please do share this newsletter with anyone you think will benefit. When doing so, please forward it in its entirety, including contact and copyright information. Thanks.

Back to the top ↑

Copyright © 2000-2009 AgeWiseLiving LLC. All rights reserved
To discuss elder care issues, email or call us at (646) 521-0737.