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 Newsletters    November 19, 2009      


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"HOW DO I KNOW IF I SHOULD BE WORRIED?"
 



Happy almost Thanksgiving


I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week. It's my favorite holiday so I'm delighted but whoosh it got here fast! I'm heading up to my sister and brother-in-law's house for two Thanksgiving dinners. The three of us will go out for dinner on Thanksgiving day. Then, when their two daughters, one husband and one boy friend arrive on Friday, my sister will cook the 2nd dinner. She's a great cook so we will eat well for days. But the best part is spending so much time with my family. Can't wait!

Are you seeing your aging parents this holiday? So many family members live at a distance so they don't always see challenges that are beginning to surface for their parents. But unless the problem is really obvious, it's hard to know if you're seeing a crisis just waiting to happen. So this month's article will give you some easy things to look for.

Before you move on to the article, though, I want to remind you that you can give the gift of love to all the eldercaregivers you know -- including yourself -- and you can earn a 25% commission whenever anyone buys The Ultimate Caregiver's Success System -- including you! The Ultimate Caregiver's Success System is now on sale for $100 off the regular price and when you join my Affiliate Program, you can make 25% for every person who purchases the system with your affiliate code. That means that you get $100 off the regular price and you get almost $100 back! Find out more about The Ultimate Caregiver's Success System and the AgeWise Living Affiliate Program.

BTW -- since we'll all be celebrating, there will not be an AgeWiseLiving newsletter next week. (I will, however, be doing my radio show next Tuesday, November 24th. Please see below for information on the November 24th and December 1st shows.)

Happy Thanksgiving and I'll see you in December.

Barbara


PS>Another "sign-of-the-season picture - this one of the big stars at Time Warner Center. Same stars - they just change color. You may be interested to know that to get these pictures, I lay down on my back in the middle of the rotunda! Fortunately, in NYC, no one seemed to notice!

PPS>Are you on Facebook or Twitter? If so, I'd love to have you 'friend' me and AgeWiseLiving. That way you can get the latest news and have lots to share with your followers about AgeWiseLiving, the AgeWiseLiving newsletter, my radio show, etc. A whole new world!



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ARTICLE: HOW DO I KNOW IF I SHOULD BE WORRIED?

This is the time of year when we see parents and other aging loved ones that we may not have the opportunity to see the rest of the year. Regardless of how often you talk by phone throughout the year, seeing an aging parent in person tells you a lot more than phone calls alone can reveal. The clues are all around you if you know what to look for. And the best part is that you can look around without making it a big deal for you or your parent.


Here are some things to look for:

Overall:

  • Is your loved one clean and well groomed?
  • Is s/he properly dressed with clean clothes?
  • Has s/he gained or lost significant weight?
  • Is s/he walking well (eg: good balance and posture)?
  • Do you notice changes to his/her hearing, sight or speech.
  • Is s/he is more timid, apprehensive or withdrawn?
  • Do you notice a change in short term memory? Does s/he seem confused and/or lose her/his train of thought easily and/or often? Does s/he ask the same questions and/or tell the same stories over and over?

    If you go to their home:

  • Has the neighborhood changed? Does it look safe?
  • Is the exterior of the house maintained?
  • Is the interior of the house neat, clean, and well maintained?
  • Is the refrigerator stocked with fresh (or at least edible) food?
  • Do you notice excessive clutter and things like piles of unopened mail, lots of sweepstakes offers, etc?
  • If the home has stairs, can s/he navigate the stairs safely or does it look like s/he is now living on the ground floor because of an inability to climb the stairs?

    What you see can run the gamut from "everything is fine" to "something is definitely wrong". If you see something critical or alarming, obviously you have to take action immediately. If you don't see anything out of the ordinary, then this is a great opportunity to deepen and strengthen the lines of communication for the future.

    However, if you do see something - or even just sense something - that just doesn't "feel" right but you are not sure of the extent of the issue, you need to dig deeper. Use the opportunity to talk with your aging parent face to face. Express your concern and gently ask questions about what you have observed. (If they're in denial, use the suggestions from last week's newsletter.)

    With family gathered, this is a golden opportunity to get input from sibs, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. on the situation, too. In addition, if an opportunity arises, discretely talk with your parent's friends and neighbors and see if they have noticed any changes and ask them to let you know if they do . For example: "You see Mom more often that I do. How do you think she is doing? She seems a little more forgetful (distracted, frail, etc) than usual. Have you noticed it too? You know I worry about her so if you do see anything, would you please give me a call?"


    And remember, if you are concerned that your aging parent need help now or may shortly and you don't know how to proceed, I urge you not to wait for a crisis to develop. Please call me toll-free (877) AGE-WISE or email me at Barbara@AgeWiseLiving.com for a complimentary "get acquainted" conversation or use the information in The Ultimate Caregiver's Success System. I don't want you to have to do this alone.



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