AgeWiseLiving.com Newsletter January 14, 2010 -- What Is a Generational Coach?

January 14, 2010


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"WHAT IS A GENERATIONAL COACH?"

Congratulations AgeWiseLiving!

This year, AgeWiseLiving™ is celebrating our 10th anniversary helping Caregivers! Talk about major milestones. (I was helping people with eldercare issues before there was even a name for it.) Pretty cool!

Because this is such a big year for AgeWiseLiving, I have decided that there should be an entire year of festivities. I haven't decided exactly what that will be yet but this is too big a deal to give it short shrift. Have any suggestions? Please let me know.

I also recently discovered that, with all the new people joining the AgeWiseLiving family, there is a lot of confusion about what a Generational Coach does. (Nope, I don't sell Long Term Care insurance - although I do think it's a great product for most people.) So I've decided that a really good way to start out the new (and did I mention 10th) year would be to explain what I do by giving you some examples of actual clients. Please read on.

Oh and. . . apparently I'm not the only wacky one out there trying to decide if this year should be twenty ten or two thousand ten. When I Googled it, 23,500,000 results came up. Just thought I ought to mention that (though, in no way defensively, of course!)

Until next week . . . Happy Martin Luther King Day,

PS> Are you on Facebook or Twitter? If so, I'd love to have you 'friend' me and AgeWiseLiving. That way you can get the latest news and have lots to share with your followers about AgeWiseLiving, the AgeWiseLiving newsletter, my radio show, etc. A whole new world!

Top 10 Reasons Not to Address Your Eldercare Issues Now

10. My parents seem OK enough.

9. My parents have money and when it runs out, the government will take care of them.

8. My parents will just refuse any help that I offer to them anyway.

7. My parents are so stubborn, nothing I do will work.

6. Even though Dad shouldn't be driving, he'll only stop when he smashes the car. It's no use trying to talk to him.

5. Maybe It would be better if the house did burn down. There's no way we can sell it anyway.

4. If they die without a will, I'll get everything anyway.

3. I function better in a crisis.

2. My sister will take care of them.

1. I'm too busy right now trying to decide if this year should be "twenty ten" or "two thousand ten"

If you found something that told you WHAT to do and HOW to do it so you could resolve your eldercare issues by choice, not crisis . . . you'd buy it . . . right?

Any of these sound familiar? I've heard them all which is why I created "The Ultimate Caregiver's Success System".

With "The Ultimate Caregiver's Success System" you will be able to put these "reasons" to bed once and for all . . . guaranteed!

If you want to begin the New Year right and save yourself time, money, and lots of stress in 2010, please check out "The Ultimate Caregiver's Success System."

PS> Have I mentioned that you can purchase a href="shop-caregiverssuccess.htm" class="type2">"The Ultimate Caregiver's Success System" in 3 installments?

For lots more information, Please click here for
THE ULTIMATE CAREGIVERS SUCCESS SYSTEM
and see what I'm so excited about!

ARTICLE: What Exactly Is A Generational Coach?

It's easy to give you "technical" stuff about Generational Coaching . . .

That I help family members know what to do and how to do it so that their elderly parents will willingly do what's in their best interest;

That I work only with the family members, never the senior;

That all Generational Coaching is by phone;

And that I work with one person - or several people - by conference call so they will work together to confront the issues - not each other.

All important information but it hardly does the job. So I picked 3 cases that are pretty typical of the hundreds I've worked on over the years that I think will give you a better understanding of what Generational Coaching is.

Alan and his brother Brian's 87-year old father, Dad, lived alone in his own home. After a serious illness, the brothers moved Dad into an assisted living community to recuperate. When escalating health problems made the move permanent, Dad became angry and abusive. Hurt, frustrated, and fed up with Dad's verbal abuse, Brian refused to speak to or help him. Alan, unwilling to abandon Dad, called me - and convinced his brother to join our sessions. In our first session, I helped the brothers understand the reasons for Dad's behavior, and Brian agreed to re-engage. We created scripts for them to use to talk with Dad to help him get over his anger and embrace the fact that this assisted living community was his new home. By the end of the 9 sessions we worked together, Dad finally unpacked his suitcases, joined a woodworking group, and finalized his legal and financial arrangements, which allowed the brothers to sell the house and pay Dad's bills.

Ann's Mom became increasingly unable to take care of herself or her home but refused to allow in-home help and/or home-delivered meal service. As a result, for two years, Ann visited every few days to cook meals and spent almost every weekend doing chores. Although free transportation was available for seniors, Mom refused to use it, which meant that Ann also had to take Mom to numerous appointments. Increasingly distracted and/or absent from work, Ann feared her job was in jeopardy, but her pleas for Mom's cooperation fell on deaf ears. Overwhelmed and resentful, Ann called me. We started by looking for substitutes for Ann's efforts. We also created exercises she and Mom could do together to demonstrate to Mom how other options would better address her needs. Working with Ann for less than 2 months, Mom accepted in-home help, goes daily to the local senior center via community transportation and now both lives are back on track.

Cheryl, Christopher, and Curt's Mom has become increasingly forgetful since her husband's death and they are very concerned about her continuing to live alone. All three of them spoke to her about moving into an assisted living community but within hours, Mom had forgotten they had even had a conversation. All 3 siblings want what's best for Mom but were at their wits end figuring out what that is when they called me. The 3 sibs and I worked together for 1 month and now Mom is safely - and happily - in an assisted living community.

Thought you'd also like to read a few of the thank you comments I've gotten:

"I never thought my father would agree to move into an assisted living home but he did! And I never, ever thought my brothers and I could work together. But we did - and are even closer now than every before. You anticipated everything so I knew just what to do and say every step of the way. You made it so easy! Thank you!" Gayle Morris, Houston, TX

"As you know, I called you just before seeing a divorce lawyer. It was the best call I ever made. After just 2 months working with you, my wife and I finally have her mother's and my father's issues organized and under control. And all of our assorted siblings are finally working together toward the same goal." George Stein, Bellingham, WA

"I struggled for 2 years with my mother's dementia and never felt I was getting a handle on how to take care of her. Thanks to you, it's finally under control. I just wish I'd called you sooner! Thank you!" Anne Walker, Denver, CO

"It works! And the best part is that I'm using what you taught me to deal with things before they become problems. I can't thank you enough, Barbara. I'm no longer overwhelmed!" Sage Holbrook, Hartford, CT

Now you know what Generational Coaching is, so if you are concerned about your aging parent and you don't know how to proceed, I urge you not to wait for a crisis to develop. Even if you think that your issue is so unique that it will be impossible to resolve, or that your parent is way too stubborn, or that you and your sibs will never be able to work together, please call me toll-free (877) AGE-WISE or email me at Barbara@AgeWiseLiving.com for a complimentary "get acquainted" conversation. I don't want you to have to do this alone.

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The AgeWiseLiving™ Newsletter is written by Barbara E. Friesner and AgeWiseLiving™. If you have any questions or comments please send them to: .

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