Greetings and a very HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all!

I've always loved the holidays - the gathering of family and friends, the traditions, the presents - and usually start thinking about them around Labor Day!! This year, however, because the holidays somehow snuck up on me, I didn't do my usual over-anticipating. As a result, I just went with the flow and had the best holidays in years! I hope your holidays were wonderful, too, and that you took some time being good to yourself!

Hopefully, you also had some enjoyable, relaxed - even fun - conversations with your aging parents. As you will remember, we left off last year in the middle of the "THE 2-STEP PROCESS TO AGREEMENT" - a process that consists of 1) helping your elderly parents determine what they want, and 2) helping them get it. It's been wonderful to receive so many emails from people telling me how well their conversations have been going and that they are looking forward to the next installment - figuring out what the responses mean!

Unfortunately, I have also received a number of calls and emails from family members who, upon seeing their aging parents over the holidays, were very concerned that the situation had progressed beyond their ability to resolve alone. If that applies to you, I urge you not to wait for a crisis to develop. Please give me a call now so you can start the New Year resolving those issues by choice, not crisis.

The New Year is a time of new beginnings and there are lots of exciting new things in the works here at AgeWiseLiving™ for the coming year! I'm eager to share them with you, so stay tuned and together we will make this a great year for ourselves and our aging parents!

Until next time,

BARBARA QUOTED IN SPIRIT MAGAZINE

I'm flying high! I have been quoted the January issue of Spirit, the Southwest Airlines in-flight magazine! For those of you who aren't served by Southwest Airlines, the article, "Mom, Dad: It's Time" by Heather Millar, will be up on my website shortly.

ARTICLE: ANALYZING WHAT YOUR AGING PARENTS WANT

When we left off last year, you were about to find out what your elderly parents truly want for the 3rd ½ of their lives (using the form that you can download by clicking on: "What Do I Want For the 3rd Half of My Life").

So let's begin the New Year by looking at how to analyze the information that you have gotten from your aging parents so far so you can figure out what their responses mean. The easiest way to explain how to do this is by using an actual example.

This list was written by a very healthy, spry and spirited 93-year old widow who lived alone in her own home about 50 miles from 3 of her 11 children. Everyone, including her 18 grandchildren and 37 great-grandchildren, were concerned about her living alone and the general consensus was that she should move into an assisted living community near one of them where she would be "taken care of". The family had been "working" on her for almost 6 months and by the time they contacted me, their mother refused to see or speak to any of them! The family and I worked together for almost a month before they were able to mend fences with their mother enough for her to be willing to write the following list:

• Do what I want, when I want
• To come and go as I please
• Keep my treasures around me
• Everyone stop nagging me
• Visit with my friends whenever I want
• Cook and eat what I want, whenever I want
• Someone to do the maintenance on the house
• To be a part of my family's lives
• Have my family visit because they want to, not because they have to or because it's a responsibility
• Go to sleep and get up whenever I want
• Have friends visit
• Go ballroom dancing with Harry (husband)
• Learn to use a computer so I can email family & friends and work on the family genealogy
• Start singing in a choir again
• Learn to tap dance
• Travel for at least a month in Ireland and find "lost" relatives
• Go to my 75th school reunion

What would you suggest to help her get what she wants while at the same time, doing what's in her best interest? Think about it and in the next newsletter we'll look at what we came up with that gave her everything she wanted and everything her family wanted for her, too.

YOUR 2-STEP PROCESS ASSIGNMENT

Take a look at your parent's list. With their responses and some reading between the lines, you will be able to pick out the central themes of what your aging parent really wants. Then, thinking creatively, ask yourself what you would suggest to help them achieve what they want that is also in their best interest.

FYI . . . www.Snopes.com

Heard the one about the two-headed snake for sale for $150,000 (apparently true according to the Associated Press), that three simple tests anyone can administer can help diagnose the occurrence of a stroke (true), or that some brands of cat litter are radioactive (false)? Were you taken in by that email claiming that Bill Gates, Microsoft and AOL were giving away cash and merchandise to those who forward an e-mail message (false)? If you want to find out if a claim is real or another urban legend before emailing it to all your friends - or for just good, head-shaking fun - look it up at www.Snopes.com.

Upcoming Seminars

For lots more information about this and many other important eldercare issues, attend an AgeWiseLiving seminar. For upcoming dates and locations, please go to Seminars. Space is filling fast, though, so reserve your space now!

MANAGING YOUR SUBSCRIPTION