Happy Spring! Hope yours is off to a wonderful start!!

When I asked for your eldercare questions/comments last month, I got a lot of questions about financial issues. Since I'm not an expert on things financial, I called on someone who is and in this month's newsletter are excerpts from a conversation I had with financial planner, Sheila Walker-Hartwell, from Hartwell Planning LLC. Sheila founded Hartwell Planning in 1996 initially to help divorced and widowed women take charge of their personal finances. Today clients have expanded to include couples, families and small business owners as well.

Remember, during this month of holidays, if you are still struggling with eldercare issues or you know someone who is paralyzed by fear thinking about the worst that can happen, give them the gift of peace of mind. To help them find relief and resolve their eldercare issues by choice, not crisis, please have them call me toll-free (877) AGE-WISE or email me at Barbara@AgeWiseLiving.com for a complimentary "get acquainted" conversation. I'm here to help!

Happy Passover and a joyous Easter to all.

ARTICLE: A CONVERSATION WITH A FINANCIAL PLANNER

Barbara E Friesner: What is the most common mistake you see in your practice that adult children make with their aging parents?

Sheila Walker-Hartwell: It's really important for adult children to take an interest in their parents' care before there is a need or an emergency. We have very busy lives today and always looked to our parents as we were growing up. Now the tables are turning. Here's a few suggestions:

1. Try not to take away their independence before it's appropriate.
2. Find out what the senior wants, give her as much control as is safe for as long as is feasible.
3. Respect the need for privacy in financial matters.
4. Make sure basic estate planning documents are in place and up-to-date.

SWH: There are five basic documents everyone should have, including seniors:

A will with an executor, who is alive and able to fulfill his duties,
A durable power of attorney for financial which gives the power to someone the senior trusts to access her finances when needed
A living will that outlines health directives in case of emergency and end of life with a HIPAA release
A healthcare proxy, a person who has the legal right to carry out the senior's healthcare wishes
A Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order. The healthcare proxy doesn't have to invoke it but has the right to make a decision according to the senior's wishes.

BEF: What do you do if the senior won't discuss his financial situation with his children?

SWH: We see this all the time. Identify a knowledgeable third party whom the senior trusts and can confide in is the first step in the process of pulling the family together for a discussion. When a senior comes to Hartwell Planning, we first prepare a list of all the assets, create a plan that shows their income sources and expenses by category and help them set up what we call a "When I Am Gone..." file of all important documents. We respect the senior's confidentially unconditionally but when he recognizes that he is still in control, he will usually be more amenable to sharing information.

BEF: Seniors have much more frugal spending habits than their children. How do you get the family "on the same page" financially?

SWH: Well, at Hartwell Planning we are not therapists or counselors. We are planners. But to answer your question - and you know this better than I! - the Depression-era generation does see things differently. We have found that setting up basic planning and estate documents as I mentioned earlier with the senior calling the shots really does make a difference in helping seniors to understand the broader picture. And they usually are more willing to include family members if they don't feel cornered.

BEF: Many of the baby boomers I work with are worried that the financial resources aren't there to take care of their aging loved ones. Do you have any advice for them?

SWH: That's a complicated and complex question. As you know, the cost of nursing homes can be expensive. And removing a senior from comfortable surroundings can be traumatic if the senior has lived in her home much of her adult life.

If a senior is living in a primary residence with few financial resources left except her home, a reverse mortgage might be a solution. These have grown in popularity in recent years. If the senior is 62 or older she can receive monthly payments for as long as she stays in the home. For example, a 62-year old homeowner in Larchmont, New York with a $240,000 house that has been fully paid off could receive a lump-sum payment of $104,000 or $650 a month tax-free. The downside of a reverse mortgage is the amount borrowed plus interest and closing costs are due at the time the house is sold, so it would reduce the inheritance the senior might have wanted to leave to her children.

To learn more about Hartwell Planning, visit the website at www.HartwellPlanning.com or call Sheila for a complimentary telephone consultation at (212) 772-8654. You can sign up for her bi-monthly newsletter, Let's Be Brief, at no charge for tips on how to enhance your personal finances.

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