Dear AgeWiseLiving Friends,

As an eldercaregiver, do you feel like you're playing "Whack-a-Mole" at a carnival but without the cool prize? Every time you get one issue under control such as managing your aging loved one's finances, maintaining their home, dealing with their driving (or driving them), another one pops up? If so, you're not alone. Even after 25 years as a caregiver, some days I'm the one with the mallet - and some days I feel like the mole!

Eldercare is often unexpected, always unpredictable, and, at least initially, intermittent. It's also virtually impossible to accurately predict the extent or length of the commitment. In fact, according to the 1999 MetLife Mature Market Institute Study, a majority of those anticipating 1 to 2 years of caregiving actually spent 4 or more years providing care. Add to that the complicated legal and bureaucratic restrictions, such as HIPAA, Medicare, insurance plan changes - and all the paperwork that goes with it - it's not surprising that few caregivers realize the toll it's taking on them personally in terms of time, relationships, money, and peace of mind until they're overwhelmed and exhausted!

The good news - and I can tell you this from personal experience - is that, regardless of where you are in your caregiving timeline, you can save time and make your life easier and more manageable by putting systems in place for the long haul.

My Generational Coaching clients often say to me "I have too much stuff going on - I don't have time to get organized!" However, when they start tracking the time they spend looking for and/or duplicating information, they are shocked at how much time and energy they're wasting - especially long-distance caregivers and/or those sharing caregiving responsibilities with others.

But where to begin? Here are 2 tips to get you started:

Tip #1 - SORT

• Get lots of file folders (you can always return what you don't use). I prefer legal-size, 1 or 2 inch expandable/ accordion file jackets so I don't have to worry about anything falling out the sides.
• Label the files however makes sense to you. For example: legal, medical, insurance, home, car, bank, Medicare, etc.
• Sort and file papers by topic (as above).
• Sort each file by "current year", "past year", and "all previous years".
• Paper clip or put into individual (regular) file folders.
• Toss obvious garbage like envelopes, but don't worry about serious purging in this initial sort.
  

If you stop at this point, you will have reduced your search time substantially.

Later, when time and enthusiasm permits, go through each file and

• Starting with the current year, sort chronologically. At some point, you may want to put past years into chronological order, too, but they can wait.
• Check with your accountant about what to keep and for how long and throw out the rest. You can also find a good list of what to keep and for how long at
  www.mommysplace.net/reduce_piles_paper.html.
  

If your aging loved one is willing and able to help, by all means, work together. Pour a glass of wine, pop some popcorn, and put on music or a movie, and make an "event" of it. If you are working together, however, allow a lot more time or work over several sessions. Not only can this be an exhausting task for them, you'll also want to allow time for "spontaneous reminiscing".

Whether you use file jackets, color-coded files, or shoe boxes, the important thing to remember is that it doesn't have to be elaborate. Nor do you have to go for perfection. Try as I do to put everything into the right file immediately, I still have one labeled "Mom's Stuff To Be Filed" that I sort about once a month.

Tip #2 - COMPILE

While you're sorting, take time to assess what information and vital documents you do - and don't - have.

• Make a list of important providers (doctors, lawyer, accountant, stockbroker, etc.), accounts (insurance, bank, investment, etc.), and vital documents (Living Will, Health Care Proxy, Power of Attorney, original birth/death certificates, marriage license, Will, etc.)
• You can use a sheet of paper or, for a complimentary copy of the AgeWiseLiving Legal &
  Financial Organizer which includes a list of vital documents, go to
  www.AgeWiseLiving.com/newsletters.htm.
• As you locate the information, fill in the name, contact information, account numbers, and where the documents are kept (for example, file cabinet or safe deposit box).
• If you're working with your aging loved one, this would be a great time to discuss the status of their Living Will, Health Care Proxy, etc.
• Once the list is completed, make copies for your loved one, yourself, and other family members, if appropriate.
  

There will be more tips for getting eldercare under control in upcoming newsletters. For now, however, remember . . . simple is best, and the time you invest now will save you enormously in time and peace of mind in the future!

Until next time,
Barbara

This Month's Elated Fan

"I never thought my father would agree to move into an assisted living home but he did! You anticipated everything so I knew just what to do and say every step of the way. You made it so easy! Thank you!"

Gayle Morris
Houston, TX

Generational Coaching

If you're frustrated and worn out by eldercare issues that never seem to get settled, call today for a complementary get-acquainted conversation to see how Generational Coaching^® can help you resolve your eldercare issues by choice, not crisis!

Since all Generational Coaching^® is by phone, the only question is how quickly you want or need to get your issues settled - no matter what time zone you're in.

Upcoming Seminars

For lots more information including more than 50 additional tips for getting eldercare under control, you won't want to miss Balancing Work & Eldercare Needs©. For upcoming dates and locations for this and other AgeWiseLiving seminars, please go to Seminars. Space is filling fast, though, so reserve your space now!

In Print

The AgeWiseLiving newsletter article How to Remember More, Longer, and Make Your Memories Easier to Access (Feb. '05) was printed in the Spring issue of the CAPSule, the Children of Aging Parents (CAPs) newsletter. To read the article or send it to a friend, go to www.agewiseliving.com/newsletters.htm and click on the February '05, issue. For more information about CAPs, go to www.caps4caregivers.org or call (800) 227-7294.

For More Information About . . .

Generational Coaching^®, AgeWiseLiving seminars, or to book Barbara to speak at your company or organization, please call (646) 521-0737 or outside NY, call toll free (877) AGE-WISE, email me at , or contact me through
www.AgeWiseLiving.com.