Greetings!

Hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful. As I mentioned last month, my nephew and his family visited me for the holiday weekend. The highlight was seeing the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in person. It was a bit damp but nothing could dampen our spirits! (Did you see me wave?) We also saw the Radio City Christmas Show, went ice skating in Central Park, and did a lot of window shopping (and a little real shopping too!). All in all, a great time was had by all but I'm pooped!!! Now . . . on to the most wonderful time of the year!

As you know, I often say "if when you see your aging loved one, you see anything that concerns you . . . " and many of you have written me to ask "like what?" So with the holidays upon us and family gathering, this month's newsletter will give you some of the things you can look for to help determine how your aging loved ones are really doing.

But before you read on, with 2006 rapidly drawing to a close, I want to wish you a peaceful, joyous Holiday Season and a wonderful New Year!

Until next year, be well and enjoy!

PS> Every year I'm asked for reprints of my newsletter entitled How to Make the Holidays Better For You and Your Aging Loved One. If you would like to read these valuable tips, you will find them in the December '03 issue (2nd from the bottom) on the Newsletter landing page.

ARTICLE: RECOGNIZING THE CLUES TO YOUR AGING LOVED ONE'S SITUATION

Singing Christmas carols, lighting Hanukkah candles, roasting chestnuts by a roaring fire - things most of us will be doing in the next few weeks. This is also the time of year when we see parents and other aging loved ones that we may not have the opportunity to see the rest of the year.

Regardless of how often you talk by phone throughout the year, seeing a loved one in person tells you a lot more than phone calls alone can reveal. The clues are all around you if you know what to look for. And the best part is that you can look around without making it a big deal for you or for your aging loved one.

Here are some things to look for:

Overall:

Is your loved one clean and well groomed?
Is s/he properly dressed with clean clothes?
Has s/he gained or lost significant weight?
Is s/he walking well (eg: good balance and posture)?
Do you notice changes to his/her hearing, sight or speech.
Is s/he is more timid, apprehensive or withdrawn?
Do you notice a change in short term memory? Does s/he seem confused and/or lose her/his train of thought easily and/or often? Does s/he ask the same questions and/or tell the same stories over and over?

Has the neighborhood changed? Does it look safe?
Is the exterior of the house maintained?
Is the interior of the house neat, clean, and well maintained?
Is the refrigerator stocked with fresh (or at least edible) food?
Do you notice excessive clutter and things like piles of unopened mail, lots of sweepstakes offers, etc?
If the home has stairs, can s/he navigate the stairs safely or does it look like s/he is now living on the ground floor because of an inability to navigate the stairs?

What you see can run the gamut from "everything is fine" to "something is definitely wrong". If you see something critical or alarming, obviously you have to take action immediately. If you don't see anything out of the ordinary, then this is a great opportunity to deepen and strengthen the lines of communication.

However, if you see something - or even just sense something - that just doesn't "feel" right but you are not sure of the extent of the issue, you need to dig deeper. Use the opportunity to talk with your aging loved one face to face. Express your concern and gently ask questions about what you have observed. (For help with how to talk with your aging loved one about difficult subjects, please check out my past newsletters on the newsletter page of my website (http://www.AgeWiseLiving.com/seminars.htm).

With family gathered, this is a golden opportunity to get their input on the situation, too. In addition, as opportunities arise, discretely talk with your aging loved one's friends and neighbors and see if they have noticed any changes and ask them to let you know if they do. For example:

"You see Mom more often that I do. How do you think she is doing? She seems a little more forgetful (distracted, frail, etc) than usual. Have you noticed it too? Have you noticed if she has been like this for a while? You know I worry about her so if you do see anything, would you please give me a call?"

And remember, if you are concerned that your aging loved one needs help now or may shortly and you don't know how to proceed, I urge you not to wait for a crisis to develop. Please call me toll-free (877) AGE-WISE or email me at Barbara@AgeWiseLiving.com for a complimentary "get acquainted" conversation. I'm here to help!

Copyright © 2000-2008 AgeWiseLiving, LLC

Upcoming Seminars

For lots more information about this and many other important eldercare issues, attend an AgeWiseLiving seminar. For upcoming dates and locations, please go to Seminars.

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