If you're like millions of people struggling to help a forgetful loved one, you're in the right place. Here's the help you need from someone who has been through it too . . . . me! (Barbara Friesner, the Country's Leading Generational Coach) My mother has very advanced dementia so I know exactly what family members are going through because I went through it -- and I'm still going through it! Helping a loved one with dementia can be difficult and heartbreaking and sadly can go on for a long time. For my mother and me, it's been over 15 years and counting. It was a strange and sometimes frightening world I was facing. I wanted to do all the right things to help my mother willingly do what was in her best interest but I didn't know what to do or where to start. I wanted to know what was going on and what to expect. In short, I wanted answers! In the beginning, I didn't even know what to ask -- let alone who -- so I had to find the answers for myself. A lot of the information I found was filled with medical jargon and complicated terminology that left me even more confused. As time went on, though, I learned how to translate the information and make it relevant and useful to someone who needed to put the information into action. As the primary care manager for my mother, I needed to open up the lines of communication and figure out how to communicate with her better. It can be so frustrating to talk with someone with dementia. In the early stages especially, as I got more emotional and frustrated, I began to wonder about my own sanity!! One day my mother was fine and I really thought I was making progress. Then the next day it was as if I was talking with a total stranger. Eventually I realized that I had to rethink the way I was communicating with her. I realized that I had to stop trying to control my mother's behavior and instead learn how to accommodate the characteristics of the dementia. Once I broke the code, I was able to open up the lines of communication and protect my own sanity! As my mother's dementia got worse, she was less able to handle things herself. She seemed more "child-like" and in my eagerness to help, I often found myself falling into the trap of taking over everything -- even the simplest of tasks. Helping was a delicate balancing act. In spite of my sincerest and best intentions, I discovered that it's possible to help too much. I realized that regardless of her abilities, like most people with dementia, my mother wanted and needed to have input in decisions affecting her life -- perhaps even more so with dementia because she already felt like she was losing control. So I learned how to help in degrees and keep her active and engaged -- to stay as independent as possible for as long as possible. Eventually it was time for my mother to move into a memory impairment community and it was important to make the move as easy and peaceful as possible. Making the decision to move a loved one into an assisted living or memory impairment community is a very personal decision and I struggled with it until a crisis forced my family's hand. Even though we knew we were making the right decision, however, it was equally if not more important to make the move as easy and peaceful as possible for my mother. Using everything I'd learned, we were able to make that happen and help her settle in. In spite of all the success, I found myself wondering if I was doing the right things at the right times. I wanted to help my mother and I spent a lot of time thinking and worrying about it. In fact, in spite of the success, the self-doubt was never far away! Making decisions for someone else is scary under the best of circumstances. It's even scarier when the person is your parent and their judgment is impaired. Fortunately, over time, my decisions were confirmed as I saw my mother happier and more content. In the past few years, I've noticed my own increasing forgetfulness and it scares me to death! With a family history of dementia, I constantly question if a forgotten word or lost pair of glasses is a sign of oncoming dementia. As the care manager for my mother and my grandmother who also had dementia, as you might imagine, concern about my own forgetful moments was never far from my mind! Fortunately, because of what I've learned about "simple forgetfulness" versus "real" dementia, I'm not as concerned as I once was! As I said before, my mother and I have been on this journey together for over 15 years. As her memories fade, it's important to both of us that we extend the number of pleasant days and preserve the happy memories. I learned that there were things I could do to slow down the loss of memory, trigger existing memories and help my mother maintain her memory longer. Equally important, I learned that the journey doesn't have to be all about fear, obligation, and responsibilities. In fact, as difficult as the journey has been, I learned that there were still lots of opportunities for pleasant days. In fact, once I rethought my expectations, I didn't have to stand by helplessly and I was able to create them! Through research and my own personal experience, I learned how to help my mother and my Generational Coaching clients. Now I want to share what I learned with you -- without the trial-and-error or emotional rollercoaster! All of the issues I struggled with are here. Is It Simple Forgetfulness Or the Real Thing? will take you through the process from the beginning and help you know what to do and how to do it along the way. No jargon or complicated terminology. Just the practical, useful information I wish I'd had to help you make the journey together!

Filled with insights, personal stories & lots of "how to's" on topics such as . . . .

3 Common Myths About Dementia
What Is Dementia
Behaviors That May Indicate Dementia
Other Causes of Increased Forgetfulness
Diagnosing Possible Dementia
How to Improve & Enhance Communication
How to Communicate "Heart to Heart"
Control versus Accommodate
How to Help Them Stay Independent
How to Cue Their Memory & Help Them Stay Engaged
Addressing the Move Into a Senior Care Community
Making the Move as Easy & Pleasant as Possible

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